Paige VanZant suffered a crushing defeat to Rachael Ostovich at Bare Knuckle FC 19 on Friday, July 23, 2021. The MMA fan favorite then went through a downward spiral which began the moment that decision was announced.

On the latest episode of “A Kickass Love Story,” her video blog with husband Austin Vanderford, VanZant discussed that loss at BKFC 19 and how she immediately rushed to the parking lot. It was there that VanZant declared that she didn’t want to live anymore.

While speaking candidly on her vlog, VanZant’s face was still swollen from that fight. Her emotional retelling of those events is further proof that anyone can experience awful pitfalls in mental health.

“I’m bummed out. I mean, I’m bummed out to say the least. Everyone expects me to lose, and everyone expects me to fail. I don’t know, I just feel like people have this specific perception of who I am and especially online. It’s crazy how much people can hate on a single person. I just don’t get it. I pride myself on being a good person, and I think that’s the most important thing for me: I never talk bad about my opponents. I never say a single negative thing about their character. You never know what somebody is going through, and you never know what someone is on the verge of.”

“I told him I didn’t want to live anymore, that this wasn’t for me anymore. Life wasn’t for me anymore. It’s disappointing. It was hard.”

“It can be hard when Austin and I are married, and he keeps winning, and I keep losing. But honestly, him and his success is like the only thing that keeps me going, because I do feel like we win together. His next fight will be for a title, and I know he’s gonna win. I just know how good it’s gonna feel for him and for me, and I’m so happy. I’m so proud of him. His title fight to look forward to is all worth it.”

VanZant, 27, is now 0-2 in BKFC, but her story is far from over. Her record in the UFC was 8-5-0, so she has experienced defeat in the past. That never makes losing any easier for someone like VanZant who dedicated her life to MMA. You can check out the video below.

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Aaron Varble

Let’s get to know each other. Me? Well, I have a master’s degree in Journalism from Marshall University, but I don’t really like to talk about that. I was a stand-up comedian for eight years, but I don’t really like to talk about that either. I write a lot. I once worked for a company that writes blurbs for online gambling games. Those paid $.75 each. So, if you frequent that kind of thing, then you’re welcome for the description for Biker Chicken Slots or Crazy Granny’s Scratchers. I wish I had more to tell, but due to my crippling anxiety and Tourette’s Syndrome, that has become increasingly worse over the years, I tend to keep to myself.

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